Monday, February 28, 2011
Well, after taking a few steps back and being very open with myself, I've decided that yes, yes, it does. WHY don't I want to try it? In the moment, it's usually because I just don't want to. And the underlying reason that makes me not want to do it is because I'm either scared, I don't know how to do it, I don't want to do it just because the teacher wants me to, or I just am too lazy to try. Lovely. If the reason were because it hurts me, or because I've tried and tried and it just isn't right for my body, then fine; those are acceptable reasons and I would respect myself for listening to my body. And if once in awhile, I am scared, lazy, defiant or uneducated, then that's ok too. I am human. But every time I am presented with this challenge, I react in the same way. I am not allowing myself to grow, or even to attempt to grow. I wonder how often I do this in life?? How often do I turn my back to something because of the reasons listed above? Probably kind of often, to be honest! This isn't something I'm proud of, but I'm also not judging it either. I'm simply noticing it and consciously choosing to shift it, both on and off my mat.
I tend to do this with ab work (really not very fun for me!!!) as well, and in the past, with not wanting to hold a pose and only wanting to flow. Well, let me tell you, holding a pose is much harder and more intimate than flowing quickly through poses, never stopping to truly get in deep. With holding poses and really working your alignment, you get to see the beauty in the details, learn how to focus your mind and breathe through the sensations, and oddly enough, feel very alive. Flowing through things and not digging in is also something I have been doing over the past few years in my everyday life... And it is something that is changing in the tangible day to day as I have begun to change my practice.
There are other things that have been brought to my awareness about how I act on the mat and how it mirrors how I act in life, and I am grateful for all of these revelations; I am choosing to be completely honest with myself in service to my growth both on and off the mat. What about you?? If you practice yoga, what challenges do you find on the mat and how do you think it is showing you a challenge off of the mat? If you don't do yoga, how do you react to certain things that you might not really enjoy? I would love to hear your opinions and personal journeys if you would like to share!!
Thanks for being a part of my journey, and I am grateful to be a part of yours. As on the mat... As in life :)